songs

I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never s'posed to show it, my crew ain't s'posed to know it,
Even if it means goin' toe to toe wi...

...And so on. There's something about music that makes it special. It's the way that you can relate to it so well even when it was written for and about a totaly different situation. Quite often when you really love a song, really love it, it's because it says something to you that it doesn't say to other people. I was just in a situation where I was mad. I was pissed and I wanted to screem out what I was thinking cos I wasn't just angry I was hurt. But I said nothing about what was inside, I never raised my voice, I kept my face as calm and normal as I could and tried my best to look at the situation abjectively so as to properly analise it. Then I thought of that song, Toy soliers, and those first fiew lines and I realised how often I do that. I think people have come to expect that of me, that I stay completely calm and objective and rearly lose my temper. The soldier that never loses my composier. Maybe I should give up my silver screen dreams and become a hostage nogotiator. The strange thing is that after I thought about that song it was easier to handle myself. It really did help me to hold my expression and not to break down. I ran through the lines in my head and thought about them in relation to me. That song has nothing to do with me or my life really, it's issues are on the other side of the world, but it still speaks to me as strongly as if it was written for me in this situation. A lot of music does that for me. For every moment, every feeling, every place and every person that we might encounter there is a song to match. It's not just the lirecs, it's everything from the rythim to the base. Music does more then match your mood to, it can change it. A change of pace can altor a heart beat, a solo can quicken the pulse, songs can move you from high to low and back again, all you need to do is open up to them. Sometimes a song says the same thing to a lot of people, touches them all deeply and takes them all with it. Thats one of the beutifuly intoxicating things about being in a mosh pit, everyone around you is being afected by the music the same way. I hate boy bands because I feel that they are an insult to real music. Real music isn't manafactured, it's delivered so that every bar is a vindication of the artist. songs are special things that do special things to us, and they are my saveing grace intill heart to heart we all fall down.

Like toy soldiers.